[the other side of me]

Ayun oh...

2007-06-18T13:57:00.000-07:00

Noong isang Linggo, yung lalaking katabi ko habang nagsisimba, umiiyak nang in denial. Nagpupunas siya ng luha habang kinakanta ang Agnus Dei. Ayaw ipahalatang umiiyak siya. Naramdaman ko kung gaano siya kataimtim manalangin noong mga oras na iyon. Kaya ang idinasal ko na lang, sana ganoon din ako.

Kilala ko ang lalaking iyon. Kilala rin siya ng mga taong madalas sa simbahan. Sa katunayan, maski 'yung pari na nagmimisa kilala siya. Alam ng mga taong masiyahin ang lalaki, kaya siguro in denial siya sa pag-iyak. Syempre, alam ko ring masiyahin siya at palabiro. Napansin ko nga ang laki ng ipinayat niya at hindi na gaanong nagbibiro. Pero itinatago. Denial King.

Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon, nakita kong umiyak ang tatay ko.

Naalala ko tuloy noong ang unang job interview ko. Hindi ko inaasahan ang unang tanong na ipinukol niya sa akin. Describe your father. Ma-pride. (oo jama sa kanya ko namana yun hehe) Ma-pride siya pero wala namang trabaho. Noong bata ako, ikinaiinis ko na wala siyang trabaho dahil alam kong kung meron, hindi sana ipinangutang ang ipinampaaral ko at mabibili sana namin lahat ng gusto naming magkakapatid. Ngayong may isip na ako, laking pasasalamat ko at walang trabaho ang tatay ko. Dahil siya ang nagpalaki sa akin at nagturo ng lahat ng dapat kong malaman.

At nasabi ko na ba na tatlong taon pa lang ako ay nagbabasa na ako ng diretso at nakakasulat na ako dahil tinuruan ako ng tatay ko? At tatlong taong gulang din ako nang sumabak sa paaralan at naging second honor noong taon ding iyon?

Yes, people of the Philippines, I am my father's biggest fan. Para sa akin, siya ang pinakamatuwid na tao sa mundo. Sa tuwing magdedesisyon ako, lagi kong iniisip, kung sakaling ang tatay ko ang nasa katayuan ko, ano kaya ang gagawin niya. At iyon ang gagabay sa akin.

Pakiramdam ko nga noong maggawad ang Diyos ng mga ama, paborito kaming magkakapatid. Walang bisyo, loyal, mabait, nakikinig sa amin at hindi iniisip na binabastos namin siya kapag nagpapahayag kami ng opinyon, maka-Diyos, atbp. Everyone may claim that his is the world's greatest/best father. I am not contesting that. Kami na lang siguro ang world's luckiest daughters. Hahaha!

Happy Fathers Day, Erpat. I love you.

Pang-wala lang

2007-04-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

Saw Gloc9's music video, Lando, which features Francis M. And I also saw familiar Thomasian faces - Nerisa Guevarra, Angelo Suarez, and Lourd de Veyra - guest stars.

Francis M still rocks.

===

Looking forward to our summer getaway in Tagaytay. :)

Chronicles

2007-03-26T02:55:00.000-07:00

Here's a mini-chronicle of my Davao expedition. Pardon the euphoria. :D

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Where have you been? adet

I've been to Davao. Woohoo! No longer a plane virgin. And it is one of the best trips ever. I'll be posting my pix soon.

It was... breath-takingly magnificent. The flight going there was two-hours delayed, but serendipity it is, for I was able to witness how beautiful Manila is from above. And before landing, I gazed out the window just to marvel at the coconut trees below and the blue sparkling waters of Davao Gulf. Nature at its best.

Indeed, at its very best. The next day, we went to Mati, Davao Oriental, a place in the world na walang signal. It was a four-hour trip, and en route are winding, uphill roads and plantations of coconut and banana. The hectares (pardon the understatement) of coconut trees reminded me of the Coco Levy Fund, whatever happened to it. Now going back, from Mati, we had another sixty-minute drive to Dahikan, the Paradise. Yellowish white sand, crystal clear waters, towering coconut trees… everything is so virginal. Yes, it is Eden.

We spent the night there, in Mayet’s family’s rest house. The waves were singing their lullabies as the cool breeze enters our window (the window does not have anything in it, just a plain hole in the wall). It was a peaceful slumber, even though Farah, my other friend, would like to put garlic by the window pane to shoo away bad spirits. XD

Dawn in the beach turned out to be a spectacle. With the sun slowly waking up from the east, everything is perfect. And as if the scenery is not yet enough to feast on, Mayet’s father bought a surgeonfish (Dory, Nemo’s friend) freshly caught from the sea, and had it grilled for a sumptuous and luxurious breakfast. It was a nice way to break away temporarily from Manila’s bangus and tilapia. Where, here in Manila, can you buy a Dory for Php50???

Right after breakfast we jumped in the boat and journeyed for another seventy five minutes, admiring the green, sometimes blue, waters underneath, and feasting our eyes on the coral reefs. We were brought to an islet, where no one lives, to indulge ourselves with the beach. It’s as if we rented an island. I swam with the fishes, marked the sand with my footprint, tried to build sand castles… I was like a kid. Hahahaha!!

It’s like no other place in the world. It was just tough luck that I did not see a pawikan, or else I could’ve gone nuts. XD

When we boarded the plane back to Manila, Davao was still at its finest. Despite the drizzling rain, I saw how splendid it is during the night, with its street lights illuminating the entire city. I promised myself I’ll be back someday, with someone, so that I won’t miss her too bad. #

Hime

2007-02-26T12:25:00.000-08:00

Guess what? 6 Cyclemind revived one of my most favorite songs.

At napapost ako dahil dun. Amp. If you can't, at least, be at par, wag na lang.

===

Oplan K750i ako this week.Ü

My Newest Addiction

2007-02-10T19:00:00.000-08:00

Presenting my newest addiction... E-Games' Audition.

Reminds me of my old school Bust-A-Groove, with Shorty, Capoiera, Kitty N, Hero, and my favorite Heat. God knows how I loved this PS game.

I strongly recommend this game to everyone.

===

Best wishes to my Ate, na kakakasal lang kanina. Congrats. I'm wishing you the best there is.Ü

===

Can't say much. Anemic yata ako e. Kinailangan ko lang samahan ang utol ko sa Internetan.

Just for the Sake of Posting

2006-12-29T20:42:00.000-08:00

Whoa.

That's the one helluva word that can describe my year. Hehe. 2006 has been so breath-takingly awesome. Lovelife has been great. Going stronger despite the challenges. Workplace has been generous. Friends have dramatically increased. Formed new bonds. Found new tols. Visited never-been places. Jumped over tall barriers (school, Nanay's health condition, financial difficulties). Conquered legends.

Could not ask for more.

===

Welcome the year with a bang.

Before the year ends, I would like to:
~ visit another new place such as Davao
~ bring Pag-ibig to some place (if God permits)
~ buy a new phone
~ be the floor's youngest supervisor

New Year resolution will be more time for my blog, my writings, myself, and my lovelife. And to start of, I'll be in Rizal on January 2 to 3. Mwehehe!

===

When I count my blessings, I count you first.

Updates! Updates!

2006-11-22T16:30:00.000-08:00

Hello! Adet buhay ka pa ba?!

Mwahaha! I'm still alive. Well, though I don't blog as often as before, and though I wanna post here as often as I want to, it seems that I can't find time to do so. My freaking workplace, what an irony 'cause we're so attached to computers but they don't have access to blogspot. Crap crap. So that means I just have my rest days to surf the Net.

F.

Anyways, nothing's new (except for an MP3 and a Friendster account). At least there were updates. But generally, nothing's really new. I still have 5-7 hours of sleep daily. (If you're wondering where the F are the remaining of my 24 are: 4 of those I spent on the road, 9 in the workplace, 3 waiting for the sun, 1 eating breakfast.) Hehe.

I miss everyone. Thomasian community!!! And my Koibito.

I'll just try to post as often as I can.

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Superb. Flawless.

We simply underestimated Manny Pacquiao by our fearless forecast that the trilogy will end in the second half of the fight. It turned out, that was merely a sparring session. What a power-packed arsenal. Three rounds. If I watched the fight in the mall, where they had it at P500, what a waste it could have been.

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Hey anyone, I wanna pass an entry to Dapitan. Who can help me?? Thanks thanks!!

Oxymoron

2006-09-12T19:36:00.000-07:00

A thirteen-year old girl died on an accident in Star City's Wild River ride.

Freak accidents do happen. It's just frustrating because when you think of it, the incident could've been prevented.

Condolences.

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As the sportscaster said after the stellar performance of the Salinggawi Dance Troupe, they (SDT) never fail to give me goosebumps whenever they perform.

We reclaimed glory after last year's controversy. So much school pride, that the moment I entered my workplace, sang Queen's "We Are The Champions" to all of my Thomasian colleagues. I was the first to inform them of the victory. And it was so makulet because they're wearing yellow or anything that may identify them as Thomasians. :D (Mind you, may school rivalries sa workplace! ^_^)

Sayang hindi nakapanood ng live sa Araneta.

Astig.

Rock On!

2006-09-06T04:01:00.000-07:00

Santo Tomas fed on Ateneo and gave them the first stain on their then-immaculate slate.

And proved they're not invincible.

Hectic Week Ahead

2006-08-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

We'll have our graduation tomorrow and I'll have my first public performance tomorrow as a guitarist.

...Whoa!!

XD

Drinking spree tomorrow! No, don't worry everyone, I'm not tomador. I just drink around half a bottle of SanMig Light per week. Beer is good if taken in moderation. :D

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So that's it. I'm gonna do my job starting next week, Monday to be very specific. And very unusual. I have a late afternoon shift, from 5:00pm to 2:00am. Good luck naman. I'm off on Tuesdays and Wednesdays but for next week, Wednesday only because I have to go to work on Tuesday to compensate for my Sunday off. Gets? If not, never mind.

:D

===

Some moving news from Yahoo: Pluto is no longer a planet. :( Poor Hades..

And read about the billionaire's wedding. Donald Trump's to be exact. Weird things...

===

I don't think my Loveblog is still working. (Uhm, I assume it's no longer working because I can no longer remember the password and the freaking email add I used in signing up has already expired due to inactivity. -.-;) However, some sweet nothings for the week (because I may find it hard to allocate time in posting for this blog for the week ahead)...

Going back four years from now, I'm probably inside Room 310 of St. Raymund Bldg. of The Royal and Pontifical, Catholic University of Santo Tomas, unconsciously getting ready to fall in love.

Hehe. I won't forget that one fateful August, I met my greatest love. :)

Exaggerated Triumph

2006-08-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

Waha! I had my first fucking irate caller (yeah the type of caller who'll say "Fuck you!" and then hang up). Well it's ok. He's a moron.

So many firsts on this transition week..

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The other day I redeemed myself by putting my team in the lead in terms of sales. We're supposed to be leading by I think 9 sales if not because of my two grave, grave mistakes last time. These mistakes gave me a temporary insomnia and made me upset for two days. Good grief I was able to answer that one hell of a question and so I was redeemed. :D

Fucking competitions.

It made me realize how attached I am to competitions. I still don't know why. I'm depressed whenever I lose but now, I have this one hell of a mantra...

"I don't win all the time. Just most of the time." XP

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Sometimes I really want to be in the industry where I'm supposed to be. I wanna write. FYI: For those who are not aware, in the production floor (where 'bankers' are answering their customers' inquiries) we are not allowed to bring pens and papers. My life's biggest irony. I took up a course that's so, if not, writing itself, and then here I am, in a job where I am not allowed to scribble anything.

I envy those who are in the business and earning big.

===

Marionne: <3

Baptism of Fire

2006-08-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

So. I had my first call. And it's kinda stupid actually but I think I passed.. with flying colors!! :D

I shan't forget that moronic first call because the hardest thing landed on my phone set. Crap. It was about a complain, a client asking for a dispute over her Debit Master Card when in fact, she realized later on, that it was her boyfriend who committed the transactions. >_>

So that was it. I'm expecting to get lotsa calls this week since I'm in transition. Gotta familiarize myself with the system because I gave myself three years (yes you read it right. 3 years) in call center industry.

===

Got my first payslip, first ATM and bank account, and my first sweldo. I was euphoric, singing "Happy Payday" all day long to my co-bankers. It is overwhelming to have that lofty paycheck. And guess what I bought with it...

Goldilock's Vanilla Roll.

Because my mom has been craving for it since her birthday (May 10). :)

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Got so many things to say but I don't have enough time to say it. I'll just have another post this weekend. :)

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Marionne: <3

First Week

2006-07-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

Yey! First week of training is over! :D I got this trainer who's a combination of Anne Hathaway, Donita Rose, and Belle of Beauty and the Beast and a namesake of The Love of my Life.

Yey! I can't wait to get paid. XD

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Just been to the Cancer Institute of the Philippine General Hospital to schedule my mom's cobalt session. She's been diagnosed with undifferentiated carcinoma (nasopharyngeal type). I dunno what these words mean actually but the doctor said it's better than cancer because Nanay has a bigger chances of getting well.

I've seen cancer patients fighting for survival inside that building which made me think there are a lot of things to be thankful about. As di Caprio said in his monumental movie, "I got air in my lungs..."

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I went ballistic yesterday and I apologize to the girl I'm hurting. Sorry...

The Omen of all Omens

2006-07-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

Indeed. It was the omen of all omens. I have finally (FINALLY!) landed a job.

Sheer coincidence, perhaps, but what will dawn on your thoughts if the girl sitting in front of you inside the LRT was wearing a shirt with this print – “Your long wait is over”?

And who’s the lucky company??

The new classroom of 4jrn1 ’06 – Peoplesupport. Well, I didn't expect that I'll work for a call center 'til my mother underwent biopsy. But still, I know it'll be fun.

Yey! Glai, Kaiz, Leng, Corrs, and maybe Ghie, are all there. Classroom atmosphere. Hekhekhek.

Thanks and lotsa lotsa thanks to all. To Convergys, for failing me in my final interview, and to Monde (the biscuit-maker company), for creating Tini-Wini. I owe to you the sugar rush during the interview. (Can you just imagine an interviewee having one hell of a sugar rush?) It was insane, but definitely I benefited from it.

Thank God.

====

To Jam: It won’t be another broken vow. We’ll work things out. I’ll still have time for us. =) Thanks beb. Love you.

Quizzes!

2006-07-13T03:07:00.000-07:00

Your Seduction Style: The Charismatic

You're beyond seductive, you're downright magnetic!

You life live and approach seduction on a grand scale.

You have an inner self confidence and energy that most people lack

It's these talents that make you seem extraordinary - and you truly are!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you as a bit small and insignificant. People pay more attention to you than you think.

Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.

For you, falling in love has never been easy. You can only fall for someone who is very patient and persistent.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Post-Interview

2006-07-04T20:58:00.000-07:00

Dreaded.

Here's what happened to me today, my first job interview.

Blunder #1: I left my interview slip slipped in sis-in-law's The Valkyries. The-woman-wearing-orange however, allowed me to enter the department. She told me to sit in the lounge. And yes, I was there for more than an hour.

There were five other persons with me in the lounge and we were all reading a day-old PhilStar. I was called by The-woman-wearing-blue. She told me to get ready, the interview will be in five minutes. The supposed-to-be-five-minutes became half-an-hour. But it was ok.

After half-an-hour, she called me and offered me a seat in front of her table. Yes, it was not my imagined one-on-one, closed-door conversation. It was more like an interrogation.

(Flashback: I was inside the elevator. I have a woman-wearing-blue beside me. I went to the washroom immediately after I got off the elevator. She, too, went to the washroom where she met an officemate. She talks of getting a rebond and taking a leave tomorrow afternoon. I compose myself.)

Reality, around two hours after: She is Ms. Roselynne, the interviewer I've been dreading to meet for more than a month.

Parang soulmate noh?

And the million-dollar questions are:
1. Are you sure your only 18? Are there no mistakes in your birth year? You're already a graduate?
2. Your father is ______? So how is he as a father? (THE MOST UNEXPECTED QUESTION. Nonetheless, I was able to answer it. Of course. It's about my relationship with my father.)
3. Your mother is _______? How is she as a mother? (It follows, logically.)
4. Why did you choose Journalism?

These are the questions, among others, of my ten-minute interrogation.

Blunder #2:
Ms. Roselynne: Do you have any published work aside from your OJT papers?
Me: Yes, it was a poem published in our Faculty's literary folio.
Ms. Roselynne: Did you bring it?
Me: No. (inside: "Stupid me. Why didn't the Dapitan fit in the folder anyway?")

Blunder #3:
There was no handshake when I felt there could've been.

I don't expect that they'll hire me na.

Southpaw

2006-06-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

Pang-intriga at pang-trivia.

Here's a list of the most famous left-handers in history:

Bill Clinton, US President
Ramses II, Egyptian pharaoh
Joan of Arc, French heroine
Alexander the Great (do I have to say more?)
Julius Caesar (the maker of the salad XD)
Napoleon Bonaparte
Helen Keller, advocate for the blind
Jack the Ripper, serial killer
Bart Simpson, cartoon character
Mark Twain, novelist
Paul McCartney, The Beatles (as I've said before, he plays the guitar upside down)
Michaelangelo, Renaissance man (I think he's ambidextrous)
Leonardo da Vinci, Renaissance man (I think sya rin ambidextrous)
Charlie Chaplin, actor
Angelina Jolie, actress
Oprah Winfrey, host
Keanu Reeves, actor (napanood kasi namin sya kanina sa Lake House, a very good film. My next post will be exclusively for the movie and today's love affair. :D)
Pele, soccer player
Larry Bird, basketball player
Babe Ruth, baseball player
Eminem, rapper
Allan Caidic, basketball player
Manny Pacquiao, boxer
Arlo Salvador, professor
Anne Alina, classmate
Benedict Parfan, poet
Carmela Gonzales, classmate
Abigail Lappay, classmate

Haba ng list. Dami pa nga e. Of course, dalawa lang naman ang uri ng tao sa mundo - kaliwete at kananete. So what's the use of this list? Wala lang. :D

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Thanks for the day jama. :)

Basketball Outburts

2006-06-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

I would like to introduce my little sister sitting here beside me. Say "Hi!" li'l sis...

Abbie: Hi! =)

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Both Mavs and the Gin Kings lost to their opponents today. The Mavs, luckily, is still ahead of the series with 2-1, while Red Bull was able to equalize the series. Crapness. Tough luck.

I hate basketball players who just hate to be hammered. I mean, if you don't want to be fouled, play chess. Basketball is not your game.

===

I think it's my first post in pure English. Wahehehe!!!

sighs

2006-06-13T03:05:00.000-07:00

after three long, torturing weeks of waiting, my first ever job interview was rescheduled to July 4, another three long, grueling weeks.

wow. congrats adet.

sana hindi pa kayo gutom noon at saka sana may pang-date ka pa. kung may ide-date ka pa.

bum!

===

may rainbow sa labas. astig. isa siyang kalahating rainbow. pero it's not everyday that you see such an eye-candy. ang laki nya kasi e. =D

===

Game 4 of the PBA Quarterfinals tomorrow. Game 3 of the NBA Finals tomorrow. See. I'm a bum. I'm updated when it comes to nonsense blahs.

Thanks to whoever-owns-that-MTVInk-mag-inside-jhobz's-locker, I'll gradually learn the art of bumming. Or should I say fruitful, good bumming. Pero in fairview, ang bait pala ng nanay ko. She said, "Magbakasyon ka muna sa Bulacan." No sarcasm at all. Pure motherly care when she saw how disappointed I was. Aww.

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*mixed emotions*

Lover

2006-06-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

I'm so in love.

I plunged so deep I'd never, ever kiss the surface again.

Friends

2006-05-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

"Ayoko na sa kanya. Ayaw ko na syang maging kaibigan kasi masama ugali niya."

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Woerd. Alam ko ganun ako pero bakit nga ba ganun? I mean, di ba kung kaibigan mo ang isang tao, tanggap mo anuman siya. E kung puro kabaitan lang kayong dalawa, hindi ba kayo nagpaplastikan? Hindi ka ba sakim para iwanan ang isang tao bilang kaibigan dahil lang may masama siyang ugali? Are you perfect?

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Sa loob ng isang gabi, natapos kong basahin ang Ang Munting Prinsipe. Maganda. Marami kang matutunan.

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"Gagawin kitang... aking ministro."

"Ministro?"

"Ministro ng Katarungan."

"Ngunit sino ang hahatulan ko?"

"Ang iyong sarili. Ito ang pinakamahirap - ang hatulan ang iyong sarili."

(Excerpts)

The Pilgrimage

2006-05-28T11:29:00.000-07:00

Fresh from Manaoag, Pangasinan.

Ang ganda sa probinsiya!!!!! Y_Y I've always enjoyed the beauty of the province. Y'know, isang maaliwalas na umaga, tinatahak mo ang kahabaan ng isang national road na may mga malalawak na bukirin sa magkabilang gilid ng daan. As in tatlong kilometrong daan na bukid lang ang nasa tabi, may mga kalabaw at baka at kambing. Pagkaraka, mayroong mahaba ring tulay na nasa ibabaw ng mahaba at malawak na ilog. Astig. Ang sarap tumira doon.

It was a five-hour drive to the Shrine. The last yellow marker I've seen before we got to the church reads 209 kms to Rizal Park. Sobrang layo.

Nandoon lang kami to hear mass (na unfortunately, ang naabutan naming mass ay funeral mass. kamusta naman yun?), visit the museum (kung saan may antipatikong matabang lalaki na hindi yata naturuan ng paggalang), venerate the Virgin (where we were in a-kilometer-long-when-stretched-line for two hours pero wala ka pang 30 seconds sa pagpupunas sa laylayan ng damit ni Maria), buy some souvenirs from the shop (ang souvenir na pinabili ko ay THE LITTLE PRINCE TRANSLATED IN FILIPINO!!! i love it.) and visit the miraculous well (3 kilometers pa ulit from the shrine).

Pauwi ay sobrang malas. Na-delay kami ng 2 hrs coz of flat tire. Hindi ko alam na na-flat-an pala kami kasi I'm sleeping then. They had to wake me up kasi hindi ako makaya ng jack nung papalitan na yung gulong. XD Then naligaw naman kami sa Tarlac. Umulan ng malakas at walang wiper yung jeep. How was that?

Anyway, masaya naman kasi panay blunder yung mga kasama ko. Lahat kasi sila, maliban sa dalawa, spinsters na old citizens na. Pero nakakatawa pa rin. =D

===

June 14: Interview sa Chinabank for Communications Associate position. =)

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I am in love.

Stagnant

2006-05-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

So. Still unemployed. And I'm getting kinda used to it. >_>

*sings The Beatles' "Let It Be"*

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Well, speaking of The Beatles, I remember Neddy Bear's post about them occupying the top 5 songs of the chart. And I remember that here in the Philippines, there was a time when a band also occupied the top 5 songs of the chart (MYX Hit Chart, i.e., >_>). And the band's name is....

Halleluyah. It's F4. @_@

Colonial mentality. Kahit mga Pogi Bands (the likes of Hale and Cueshe... uh, wait, may pogi ba sa Cueshe?) hindi nakagawa ng ganoon.

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Rain... Sarap ng ganito. Paulan ulan lang. Sana ganito na lang parati.

===

*craving for leche flan; missing glaiza, chuck, ria, brent, jessa, and jama; daydreaming*

My Future Lawyer

2006-05-08T21:15:00.000-07:00

Wahaha!

I'm back. From (or to?) Uste. With Marion. She enrolled in the prestigious UST Faculty of Civil Law. Wala na raw urungan pero tinotoyo sya during enrolment. LMAO.

===

For the second time (yeah. second pa lang naman), nagwalk-in ulit ako. At sa Ti-Makat naman. Pero sa isang kumpanya lang naman - ABC Sports, located sa dulo as in dulo ng Amorsolo. And I didn't expect na sobrang layo pala nun sa Makati Med e nilakad ko lang yun. So kamusta naman yun... >_>

And I've realized sa mga pagsakay-sakay ko ng jeep na marami palang baguhan sa Makati. Kasi naman, sa tuwing sumasakay sila ng jeep, ang sinasabi sa mga driver, "Manong pababa naman sa blah at blah.." O di ba naman. Halos lahat yata ay naghahanap ng trabaho. Ewan ko ba kung bakit gusto talaga nila sa Makati.

At least hindi ako naligaw. XD

Naglakad nga lang ng mahaba. T_T

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Nanalo ang aking kabarangay na si Gerald Santos sa Pinoy Pop Superstar! Woohoo!! Taga-riyan lang yun, siguro mga tatlong bahay lang ang layo mula rito sa Internetan. Asteeeeg!!! XD

Buhay-Unemployed

2006-04-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

Nagkapagwalk-in na rin. At last. But we doubt kung magiging successful ba.

Anyway, it was fun. Jessa and I went to ABC 5 in the distant 'province' of Novaliches, then to ABSCBN, where we met Glai, Shar, and KC, then to GMA. Pinuntahan namin si Kuya Jhoboy, who's the most fortunate among us kasi may kayod na, at sa Hero TV pa.

Then, uh, tomorrow pupunta pa ako sa Ortigas at sa Legaspi Village sa Makati para magpasa pa ulit ng resumes.

At umasang may magkakainteres sa akin na kumpanya.

===

Learned a new song, intro ng Narda ng Kamikazee. :)

I want a new book, Smaller and Smaller Circles. Or any Rio Alma book. Wala lang. Para lang may libangan habang unemployed.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!! Trabaho!!!! Nababaliw ako sa'yo!!!!

===

Birthday ngayon ng utol ko!!

Happy Birthday Abbie!!

saka birthday din ni Angel Locsin. :)

Pressured

2006-04-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Fuck. Pressured na akong magkatrabaho. Shoooooooooot!!!! >_<

Klondike and Rave Christine for the Holy Week

2006-04-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

Yes. Nagnilay ako sa solitaire and guitar-strumming para ngayong Semana Santa. Buti na lang nakabili na ako ng string para kay Rave Christine.

For this year's Good Friday, nanuod ako ng mga nagpepenitensyang dumaan sa harap ng bahay namin at nag-fast. I watched the old flick Ten Commandments in Studio 23, with macho man Moses constantly spreading his arms for four hours. I've realized that the actor who played the role of Ramses looked like the star of a porn movie we've bought in Quiapo.

Grabe uber katamad ang Holy Week.

===

Yung pictures ko noong grad. Y_Y Pinichuran ako pagkaraan ko kay Fr. Regent at... 2 shots lang ang makukuha ng karamihan sa atin sa napagkasunduang 3 shots. As a consolation, refund ng Php 60. Whatever happened to the remaining Php 20 ng ibinayad nating Php 200. Thanks to the school's official photographers.

===

Inaatake ako ng heat rash (na sabi ng nanay ko, baka buni raw; sabi ng tito ko, baka scabies daw. kamon people. I AM HYGIENIC!!!!). I hate summer. Grrrrrr....

Habit-forming

2006-04-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

for all frequent visitors of this blog, na nauhaw sa updates this past few weeks (months perhaps), heto. tinatadtad ko na po kayo ng updates. every two days may bagong post. and it's quite becoming a habit.

anyway, masaya ako at nakita ko na ang blog ni neddy bear, ang monster student-poet ng Journ batch ko. :)

yesterday, i went to USTe only to find out that they've started the reconstruction of our beloved, memorable Colayco Park. they've uprooted a number of trees. sad because since my first year in the university, i've always admired its greenery. hindi crowded ang dating. hindi mala-gubat. tama lang. then after the construction of the Student Center (which cost the statues of the martyrs and a bunch of trees din), eto na naman.

baka sa susunod, tanggalin na rin ung kalahati ng lovers lane para magtayo ng maraming CRs.

===

holy week. gawd. parang hooooooolyyyyyyy weeeeeeeeeeek sa tagal. lumalakas ang mga Pabasa rito sa amin. creepy pa naman dating nun sa akin. tapos sa Huwebes at Biyernes Santo, wala ang mga usual TV programs. lungkot.

time to fast, repent, and do some charities. after holy week, JOB HUNTING! =D

===

i wanna say something about something but i don't wanna cause another squabble so let's just leave it as it is. i'll just sing my favorite "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands". *stomps feet*

btw, which is the better law school? USTe or Beda? comment kayo dali...

Sleep-deprived

2006-04-09T14:15:00.000-07:00

yesterday we (marion, jhoboy, and i) were in meycauayan, bulacan to attend jessa's thanksgiving (uh, i presume it was a thanksgiving party). iba na cum laude. asteg.

and sometimes it makes me think, what is it that kept me from making it? i could've made it, i know. i know the problem is with me. but there ain't no regrets. alam ko naman kapasidad ko. besides, my principle has always been "grades aren't the bases of one's knowledge and education". effort lang naman ang sinusukat nun. numbers lang ang grades.

no, i'm not bitter. proud ako sa mga kamag-aral kong cum laude. alam ko namang pinagsikapan nila yan. hindi madali ang mga prof at ang mga pinag-aralan natin ng apat na taon.

KUNG KAYA, after holy week, magwo-walk in na kami nina kuya jhobz at jessa. hehe.

===

sleeping is my sanctuary. slumber has been so precious for me. so sacred. euphoric ako kapag tulog. ako nga yung tinutukoy sa kasabihang "lokohin mo na ang lasing, wag mo lang akong gisingen". lmao. spoof.

wala lang. share ko lang.

===

miss you classmates. especially yung nagmiskol kagabi ng alas dos pasado. hakhak. oist, KC Tan, balita ko nakita ka ng kuya jhobz sa mega kahapon ah. asteeg. =D

===

happy palm sunday and happy fall of bataan. @_@ do we Filipinos really celebrate our downfall??

*slept at around 3:15 in the morning and woke up 10:30am

Anguish of an Unemployed

2006-04-07T15:44:00.000-07:00

er... hi companies. i'm here.

kamusta naman ang pagbibilang ng poste nating mga fresh grad? sa mga may trabaho na, magpasalamat kayo.

gusto ko nang kumayod!!!!

===

alam mo ba ang pakiramdam ng pagiging organisado, tapos ilang sandali lang ang nakalipas, confused ka na? as if you didn't know what happened the moment you exhaled?

ayan. ganyan ako at this very sandali. parang naligaw na tatanga-tangang pusa, hindi naman nakabalot sa sako.

Alas!

2006-03-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

finally... after long, long, long, loooooooooong weeks, have updated my blog.

finally... viewed my grades in kiosk. found out that i have an incredibly low grade in Investigative Journalism (2.75) because of my passive class participation, and a monstrous 2.75 in Press Ethics. have no complain in my InvJrn but in my Ethics... let's just leave it to the stars.

finally... grabbed my copy of dapitan. thanks.

finally... after four grueling years, graduation is at hand.

finally... companies are giving me a ring.

finally, thanks to my journ peeps for four years of friendship.

mental starvation

2006-02-23T14:04:00.000-08:00

so much happenings for these past weeks i can't even remember anything except that we are on the verge of breaking down dahil sa napakaraming school works. at bayarin.

enough of the reader stuff. ang masasabi ko lang ay binayaran ko na siya bago pa magsimula ang semester. wala nang dahilan para magbayad pa ako ulit. kwekwekwe.

narito ang mga dapat ko pang bayaran:
1. investiture fee
2. thesis expenses
3. token para sa adviser (na bukal sa loob ko namang babayaran)

maraming salamat sa aking mga kaibigan... chuck, glai, yas... sa pagkuha sa amin ni art. at saka kay art sa hindi pag-iiwan sa ere. hmwehehe. malapit na tayong maghiwa-hiwalay pero marami pa rin akong natutuklasan sa klaseng ito. salamat sa inyo.

wala talaga akong maipost. grr. amp.

---

happy birthday art. :D

one hot afternoon...

2006-02-11T13:44:00.000-08:00

i am happy. up to now hindi ko pa rin lubos maisip kung paano namin nalusutan ang "my life's greatest crisis.... ever!". thanks to ma'am pusta, ma'am arriola, profs. satoquia, galan, mamawal... lahat ng binanggit ni ma'am pusta habang ipinaglalaban niya ang aming tikha kay hotness.

i really don't have anything in particular to post. i'm just happy na napasama ako sa Dapitan. it's like... my greatest extra-academic achievement so far. thanks thanks sa nagscreen ng works. sobrang thanks. at kay chuckie rin. thanks thanks.

nagpaburn ako ng CD kay ria hazel. thanks din. i know what we're doing is piracy pero mura lng e. XD

job fair was done and i applied for seven firms. four of those i applied as a PR practitioner. the remaining are journalistic works. of course i prefer the journalistic work than PR. i'm just crossing my fingers that i may land on the best job for me.

graduation's drawing nearer... masaya dahil tapos na ang pag-aaral. hehe. and some reminders for you guys, please answer the exit survey in the UST website. para hindi na hassle.

a very happy birthday to my kuya jhoboy. =)

---

for AB Journalism Batch 2006, the future journalists, proud graduates of the Pontifical and Royal UNiversity of Santo Tomas,

"To pursue the truth in this world is a trouble we should all gladly undertake."
-Sherlock Holmes

life goes on

2006-02-09T18:23:00.000-08:00

have you ever, ever imagined Jay-R singing Kelly Clarkson's Because of You??

if you haven't, then good for you. i just heard him sing that... and it was like... oh my god...

right now, Don't Give Up on Us ringtone is polluting the airwaves.

---

just registered for the online exit survey without reading the instructions beforehand... it said put your student number this way -> 2002-001234. i overlooked and put 2002001234 instead. the screen showed that there is no graduating student with that student number. can you just imagine my heart as it fell on the floor?!

---

i would like to thank God for ending our thesis dilemma. i pity Hotness but still, it's so much better that we won over her. she's still a hotness pa naman e. XD

thanks to meysil, Ma'am Pusta, especially, journ guys who cheered us up, and most especially, to my marion.

---

i wish to get a job immediately after graduation. i hope the companies in the job fair will give me a chance in their firm. *kneels and prays*

guess who's back again

2006-02-07T16:07:00.000-08:00

After long, long weeks of staleness, I’m coming back… with a bang. Yeah! Here’s my gun for all you m*****f***rs out there!!!

The first bullet shall be implanted to you who gave us this arduous task of hunting the dead! Your laziness is getting into my system! Here’s an F.

The second bullet is for Her Royal Hotness… No matter how hot you are, you’re still a piece of sh*t.

The third bullet is for you, power-hungry creature who feeds on students and professionals. I don’t understand your problem.

***

Gee.. that was a real outburst. Okay, going on with the real deal… We’re at last, done with the defense but with some major problems. First problem was the soon-to-be-heated encounter between a panelist and our adviser. We sure appreciate and trust our adviser but I think, at the end, the loss will be on us.

And then… other school projects ahead. It makes me think… Are the remaining days in UST enough to settle all these stuff? We have barely more than a month. Gawd.

Btw, Eliezl, lotsa thanks for taking care of my blog… for calming my punctuation marks and for the tagboard that has been bothering you for such a long time. Just take your time. Do it anytime you want. I’m not in a hurry. =)

After I sympathized for the ULTRA stampede (when I was in high school, I thought stampede is the stampita. The thing worn by old women in the church. The one with the red lace. >_>)victims, Trixie and I mourned for Brgy. Ginebra’s loss to Red Bull last Sunday. Sad.

Nako. Magbago na ang lipunan!!!

now these are funny. really

2006-01-23T22:41:00.000-08:00

Brent once mentioned the day after Pacquiao's victory that GMA's "Hello Manny" sounded more like the woman's voice in the "Hello Garci" conversation. sayang hindi ko napakinggan. big deal na pala yun sa aking bansa dahil pati opposition binabanggit un.
---
web quizzes really bring out the wackier side of me. just look.

Your Stipper Song Is

I'm a Slave 4 U by Britney Spears

"I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it."

You may seem shy, but you can let your wild side out when you want to!

wahaha!!! not only that...

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

see... wahaha!!

TKO wooohooo

2006-01-23T00:31:00.000-08:00

Pacquiao won. Napakahusay. I feel proud na kababayan ko ang nagwagi at siya ang unang tumalo kay Morales via TKO. Anlupet. Anlupet maging Pinoy.

kung kaya labis kong kinaiinisan ang pinsan kong nakapunta lang sa ibang bansa e kung makapagmayabang na na kesyo sa Amerika raw ay ganito at ganito... bukambibig ay Tate. hindi ko lang masabing "bakit hindi ka bumalik sa Tate?" dahil alam ko namang hindi siya makakabalik dahil wala siyang trabaho roon. haha!

napakalupit ko naman samantalang siya ang nagpaaral sa akin ngayong sem na ito. kaso hindi mo rin kasi masisikil kasi nga ako pa naman yung tipong makabayan samantalang siya ay feeling Kano na.

now going back to the Pacquiao-Morales bout, nakakalungkot din kasi baka mawalan na ng career si Morales lalo na't tatlong beses na siyang natatalo sa huling apat na laban niya.

at nakakaasar dahil delayed ang coverage ng ABS-CBN gayong ipinagkalat nila na live ang kanila. another very fat milking cow for the network. aside from PBB.
---
happy anniversary to marion's parents. wedding annivs remind me of my parent's wedding story. nakakakilig. hehe. according to my mom, ang sinabi lang ng tatay ko sa kanya after nilang mamanhikan ay ayusin niya ang isusuot niya. tapos isang umaga raw ay dumating na si Ama at sinabing magbihis na siya at pakakasal na sila on that same day. how astig.
---
and belated happy birthday to my 'utol', bro.

lunatic

2006-01-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

namimiss ko na ang seki ko....

noong isang gabi umiyak ang nanay ko. hindi dahil sa akin, sa kanila, o sa tatay ko. dahil sa aso ng kapitbahay namin. nakakaawa raw kasi siya. hindi na makatayo dahil sabi ng amo niya, naistrok. tapos pag-uwi ng isa nya pang amo, nagkakakawag ang buntot. ayun. doon na naiyak ang nanay ko.

hindi ko nasaksihan ang pangyayaring iyon. kinuwento lang sa akin ng nanay ko sa perfect moment na kakain ako ng tanghalian. hayun. tamang-tama. muntik na rin akong maiyak at hindi makakain.

namimiss ko na ang aso ko. para nga kong tanga pero ganun talaga e. kapag naaalala ko siya naiiyak pa rin ako. minsan nga kapag pilit kong inaaalala ang mukha niya [na nakalimutan ko na yata :(] naiiyak pa rin ako. pero salamat na rin kasi kapiling pa namin si mr. polar bear.

wala. namimiss ko lang nga siya. ang kulit.

---

full moon kagabi. at malamang mamayang gabi rin. ikaw... silipin ang bilog na buwan mamayang gabi, eksaktong alas otso ng gabi. sabay tayong susungaw at pagmamasdan ang bilog na buwan na iyon. kunwari magkasama tayo.

viernes el trece...[huwath?!]

2006-01-13T18:38:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry but.. what's the difference between a mouse and a rat?? pakisagot naman o.. in exchange bibigyan kita ng trivia...

hindi ka ba nagtataka kung bakit maraming number ng tubero na nakalagay sa puno, poste, o anumang pedeng pagpaskilan?? ito ay dahil ang iba sa kanila ay hindi talaga tubero kundi mga prostitutes. nakuha ko ang info na ito kay ali sotto. hehe.

at dahil friday the 13th ngayon, hindi ko alam kung iniisip ko lang na malas ang today o kung fact na malas nga ang bawat friday the 13th. wala kaming TV maghapon kasi nabunggo [nabunggo lang ha! powtah] nasira na ang TV namin. and my mother had to shell out 300 bucks pamparepair. aside from that nabagsak pa ung isang cellphone sa bahay. pero lucky naman kami at hindi nabagsakan ang salamin ng tatay ko or else gastusin na naman. nyargh!

bukas may gagawin sa like the worst subject... ever! tuloy-tuloy na kamalasan ba ito? *rants*

i miss everything. i'm missing someone. i miss you.

salamat pala sa comment mo glai! i heart you too...

i'm still alive

2006-01-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

yes i am. no need to worry about wasting another username in blogger. this blog's still updated. =)

a belated blessed new year to all. nawa'y maging maunlad at masagana ang bawat isa ngayong 2006. lalung-lalo na't ang taong ito ang huli nating taon sa unibersidad. and so, the countdown for the graduation day begins!!!

sports stuff for the sports buffs: pasok na po ang Gin Kings sa PBA Semis. woooohooo!!! ngayon ang wish ko na lng ay makapasok ang TNT kasi ang astig ng rivalry ng dalawang team na yun. hekhek.

marami palang salamat sa mga bumati sa akin nitong nakaraang kapaskuhan at bagong taon. pasensya na lng sa iba sapagkat hindi ko kayo nabati pabalik. lintik kasi ang mga network. mag-a-unli-unlimited tapos kapag crunchtime e nawawala ang promo. at saka nag-ipon kasi ako, pampagawa ng cellphone na biyaya sa akin. maraming salamat sa mga bumati, hangad ko rin ang kasiyahan sa inyong mga puso.

nothing else follows...

A BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ALL

2005-12-24T02:55:00.000-08:00

maligayang pasko sa'yo, nilalang na nag-ambag ng oras sa pagdalaw sa blog ko. pinapahalagahan kita.

ngayong pasko, narito ang aking mga kahilingan, in no particular order:
1. wala na sanang maghihirap na tao at hayop sa mundo
2. makapagtrabaho sana ako ng trabahong nais ko pagka-graduate
3. kalusugan para sa mga mahal sa buhay
4. kaligayahan ng lahat
5. mabuo nawa at magamit ko ang 6610i

hmwahaha!!!

dahil pasko nais ko ring magpasalamat sa mga taong hindi ko madalas napapasalamatan...
*liz - sa blog na ito at sa lahat ng tulong
*art, abi, tan, liz ulit, chris - sa kakulitan
*kaiz at meri - sa pagsuporta
*ey - sa tikha [thesis po ito]
*mela, ria at brent - sa pagkakaibigan
*glai, chuck at yas - sa kakulitan din
*jessa - sa higit pa sa pagkakaibigan
*jam - sa pagmamahal at kaligayahan

maraming salamat sa pagsuporta. asahan ninyong hindi ko kayo iiwanan sa gitna ng anuman. :)

wala akong maipost maliban dito so pasensya na muna. ^_^ maligayang pasko!

BAKASYON NA!!!!!!!

2005-12-20T14:48:00.000-08:00

bakasyon na. oh em ji. bakasyon na. wahahaha!!!

we're done with our thesis. or at least, temporarily done. maraming salamat sa Panginoon at hindi Niya kami pinabayaan sa mga huling sandali ng deadline. hwekhwekhwek. muli kaming hihinga sa Buwan ng mga Buwan... sa Pebrero, kung saan lahat ay sisigaw ng 'defense!'.

nais kong magpasalamat sa mga taong concerned... masyado kayong marami to mention. pero salamat sa pagkakaibigan. *sniffs* lol.

chuckie ang ganda ng duende, deadlines,... mo. :)

nakakainis kasi naman napakabrilliant ng naisip ko kaninang umaga na ipopost ko sana tapos nawala sa isip ko. kalungkot. ano nga brent?

nakakatawa naman itong blog ko. halatang mahilig sa spanish ang nag-design ng layout. paano ba naman yung mga punctuation marks nasa unahan ng pangungusap. look...

hehehe. pero liz salamat talaga ah. :) may promise ka pa sa'kin pero ok lng basta anytime available ka..

paskuhan na mya. it'll be my last Paskuhan as a student. salamat Uste.

bago magtapos gusto ko munang mag-hi...

HI MARIONNE.

on dapitan and everything else

2005-12-17T12:25:00.000-08:00

if you're here to know my side of the story, i am sorry you're in the wrong page. you won't hear nor read anything about us from me.

thank you guys for an "amazing" [peram muna gian] party last saturday. thank you sa overflowing pagkain na kahit gusto kong mag-uwi ng mac e hindi maaari. maraming salamat sa napakasarap na brownies ni trixie [na nakakakalimot ng pangalan kapag natikman], sa magandang cake, sa kanin na good for 8 annes, sa masarap na barbeque, sa lechon ni mitchie, at sa imbisibol palabok ni ghie. salamat din kay tristan na naghatid sa amin. at sa librong regalo ni chuckie at sa waway din.

i think i have an entry on the next dapitan. watch out for it. but it's not yet sure, i believe. it's a sensual Filipino poem. haha!

and will somebody help me put a friggin' tagboard out here... just leave a comment if you want. hehe.

i have a phone but i wish it's not damaged or what. perhaps minor repairs will be necessary pero mukhang buo pa sya.

i want to say something about me but i don't think this is the proper avenue. don't judge. i'm not a book. lmao.

========

happy birthday sis. ate loves you.

for the past few days.

2005-12-14T11:14:00.000-08:00

first of all i wanna laud eliezl villegas for this [beautiful is an understatement] blog. this dawg on the right of your screen looks exactly like my yumaong seki.

tagal kong hindi nakapagpost ah. andami ko pa namang himutoks ulit.

carlene aguilar lost in the 2005 Miss World Pageant. i'm not a fan of this contests actually but i think, ms.aguilar looks more of a chinese than a real pinay. chinita eyes, fair complexion, matangos na ilong, is that a pinay? i mean, come on, there's a real pinay beauty-and-brain-and-body out there. i think we should flaunt our own type of beauties in these pageants.

next. the ateneo-la salle dream game. haha! that's it. read between the lines. haha! dream game. puso sa puso daw ang laban. you, people, judge.

we lost in the ustetika awards but i wanna congratulate chuckie. you make me proud dude. and glai, for the successful event. yey!!

and happy birthday to the love of my life.

himutok

2005-12-04T22:46:00.000-08:00

unit-unti kong nare-realize na kailangan na yatang ayusin ng lipunan ang mga simpleng bagay tulad ng pagsakay sa jeep.

i've experienced horrible things inside a public utilized vehicle and it made me think that passengers should be more responsible with their neighbors. dito sa 'pinas, ang bawat pasahero ay pinahihintulutang magbitbit ng mga bagahe sa loob ng jeep, ranging from nuts to live chickens, to speakers, etc. etc.

tapos narinig ko pa kanina sa jeep ang revival ni sam milby ng 'only you' ng platters. inimmortalize para lang gawing novelty ng ibang tao.

but then again... iyon ang bebenta e.

nakakasawa na rin si sam milby. (disclaimers not allowed)

of dogs and blogs

2005-11-30T22:00:00.000-08:00

this one's a newer blog since the other is a co-authored blog and a blog that talks more about emotions. well, the first post talks about emotions too ayt? nah. the other blog is a love blog. this one's a more personal one.

welcome to my blog and see the other side of me. hehe.

this sunday, my most beloved dog passed away. naghihingalo sya from 12 noon to 3:45, when she died. it's heartbreaking to see her dying in front of me. pero hindi ako umalis. nung 12 noon pinapainom namin sya ng tubig pero ayaw na nyang lumunok. early signs. when at 3:45 i stood up para magtimpla ng gatas nya, eksakto pagtayo ko nakita sya ng tatay ko having her last breath. i rushed back para makita syang mamatay.

nakakaiyak dahil umiyak ang buong pamilya ko nang namatay sya as if apat kaming magkakapatid at nawala ang isa.

ayun. she was buried the day after she died sa likod-bahay. nakakahiya man, i still say babay to her tuwing umaalis ako ng bahay.

haaay. mahirap lang talagang mawalan ng kasama mo ng apat na taon. lalo na kung katabi mo syang matulog gabi gabi. wala na ring mag-eenjoy tuwing dumarating ako. simple pleasures in life na nakakamiss.

as i've said, this blog's not an emotional blog.

...

2005-11-26T19:56:00.000-08:00

hatred. old feelings coming up all of a sudden. i hate it. i've hated it for the longest time. i'm becoming to feel numb. i just wish i am. then we go back to the same old motherfucking issue. and settle for the nth time. then brawl again with the same sonafabitch issue. the hell. i don't wanna post these sentiments here. i've realized both of us haven't healed our wounds yet. we simply can't help it. i'm too coward to open up the topic with you, gaya ng karuwagan mong sagutin ang mga tanong ko. this is bull.

makes me feel wish i'm not sakuragi.

goodluck to your law school exam. i know you're gonna confront me about this. i just need an outlet.